When Customer Surveys Get Weird

Open Jaw

Companies really want to get to know you these days. It seem you can’t purchase anything without being asked for your postal code or email address. And how many times have you been told you could win $1,000 for completing a post-purchase satisfaction survey?

To counter the first annoyance, Open Jaw always gives X0E 0T0 – a postal code for Inuvik. That oughta skew some statistics!

But seriously, customer satisfaction surveys can be deeply annoying. Not to mention tone-deaf. After clearly indicating in a satisfaction survey that a certain tour operator had let him down once too often and he would never travel with them again, one Open Jaw staffer was immediately rewarded with a $50 future travel voucher. What part of ‘never’ didn’t they understand?

A UA customer was recently dumbfounded when he received a survey from the Opinion Miles Club, which enables United Mileage Plus members to earn 300 award miles in exchange for answering a series of questions.

Andrew Nier told Jalopnik that he received a list of questions that was categorized as a ‘professional survey,’ focusing on his life and work experiences. It started out OK, a few questions about his workplace, his coworkers and his dream vacation. But then things took a big turn for the weird.

Some of the questions Nier was asked included:

  • Do you currently work as a plumbing insulator?
  • Have you posted a bail for anyone in the last 30 days?
  • Do you own a gerbil?
  • Do you own a BMW M3?
  • Do you own a 1994 Jeep Grand Cherokee that has a manual transmission?
  • Have you purchased at least 7 lb of lobster in the past week?
  • Do you own a 3D printer?

Very odd. And very oddly specific. A manual 1994 Jeep Grand Cherokee? A gerbil?

In the section that asked for Nier’s current occupation, there were only 7 choices in the dropdown menu, including Makeup Artist, Hair Stylist, Reiki Practitioner or ‘None of the Above.’

What was Opinion Miles Club trying to learn? Who knows? But Inuvik needed a good Reiki practitioner anyway.

(will not be published)