Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

Tales From The Lily Pond

Dahrlings, as you well know, when one dinkette retired, my troubles shrank by 50%. I now dream of the day Open Jaw undergoes a full ice water shrivelling of its last founding member. 

The nincompoop is all a titter about attending a Uniworld christening in Paris with none-other than her all-time idol, Joan Collins wielding the magnum. In preparation, the ninny has hit every thrift shop in town looking for outfits with quarterback-sized shoulder pads. It was never a good look, dahrlings. But left in the unskilled hands of this fashionota, I fear an international incident in the making.  

There’s a pool on board, so Jethrine here keeps rehearsing the Krystle and Alexis lily pond catfight hoping for a moment of splashy glory with Joan. Run, Joan! Run! 

If you’re thinking it means a week of peace for me, not quite. OJ’s Editor-in-Chief will be lording over the place showing off his big title. I call him Mr. Dink. Just because he owns part of the business (I’ve had acid portions bigger than that percentage) – he thinks he can direct me. Fair warning, Bruce Parkinson. You can drop your jaw all you want, I don’t take kindly to men telling me what to do when I’m above ground level. (You want to hit the dungeon, Mr Big Words? Just say the … um, word.)

Anyhoo, I can only hope that Miss Pinky falls off the boat. But with those pontoons on her shoulders, she’ll probably just take on water and float upstream.




Comments

Bruce Parkinson - March 21, 2017 @ 15:03
Well look who raised her pointy little tiara above ground level! Speaking of retirement, this must be the second time this year you've done some work, you old travel axe. And speaking of jaws and other things that 'drop,' maybe it's time to hang up that 42" long bra and set off on a Golden Oldies cruise to nowhere.

As for 'Mr. Dink,' while I might not be a founding member of this estrogen-soaked organization, at least I have a member.

Michael - March 21, 2017 @ 14:03
More Ivanna! More! And more frequently!

Hanna - March 21, 2017 @ 10:03
Priceless !!!!!

Leave a Comment...


(will not be published)