Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

The Lost Art Of Flying

This just in.... As the Nino news is official, I thought I should share it before it's old news. As of this morning, Mr. Montagnese is riding the TravelBrands saddle as SVP of both Sunquest and Holiday House. And as far as I'm concerned, a well-ridden Nino saddle is a saddle worth riding. 

Back in the day, the best bootie call in travel was a business class seat. No sooner were your buns tucked into the leather cushions when some charmer reclined next to you. Oh my! Chatter, chatter. Drink. Eat. By the time the wheels made contact an entire relationship had been formed, consummated and put back into position.

Try and do that across the Berlin wall separating business seats nowadays. What’s the point of lying flat on your back, dahrlings? You need a pool cue just to get your podmate’s attention.

If all that isn’t mortifying enough, witness the movie helmet. Now there’s a conversation non-starter. If I didn’t know it’s the latest in Samsung technology, I’d think it was a Skymall clearance special: “Best of all, shoppers, nobody knows what you’re watching!” Keep hands above blanket at all times.

Are flight attendants supposed to knock? Text? Imagine if you doze off and wake up with that thing strapped to your face. Aaaggh! Get it off! You sure as heck can’t sip your Merlot unless it’s through a straw. Maybe it has a cup holder.

I don’t know, Pumpkins. Can they program it with a 1980’s business class setting where I’m the only female? Oh ya. Bring on the helmet. 

I know what you’re thinking, dahrlings. What about my hair!

(will not be published)