Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

What Are They Putting In The Sea Water?

Adolfo Perez

Move over Andy Stuart and HELLOO Adolfo Perez ! Yummy doesn't begin to describe this latest addition to the lineup of seafaring Hot Jocks bestowed upon us mortals.

Is that legal? Seriously. Look at him. And he's a child prodigy. He started working at Carnival 33 years ago when he learned to walk. (I could teach him to stand up. Just sayin'.)

Carnival clearly must have felt out-manned and wanted a cocky addition to the GQ cruise panels. Between swoony MSC's Ken Muskat, Norse God Andy Stuart, and now Carnival's Adolfo Perez – the gals will have to wear some pretty high heels to get my eyes off the boys' stilettos.

Don't get me wrong, I would not kick The Donald out of bed for shucking oysters -- that well-oiled baritone could run my ship around the globe anytime. And lest we forget one Carnival exec that a cruise waiter recently called a Greek God -- the fabulously fetching Mr. French. (His charms were on full speed that night and apparently led to some stalking -- which I tried blaming on the waiter). There's definitely something Adonis mixed in with a touch of Poseidon there.

Edie, dahrling, I know you want to grow a pair, but sorry, they don't compare.

(will not be published)