Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

A Whale Willy?

“WHALE PENIS!” squealed the 2 Open Jaw ninnies during a celebratory Christmas pictionary game. (Yes. This is what we do as an extra special treat here at the Jaw, dahrlings. The imagination boggles at what festive diversions they engage in at home.)

Anyhoo, someone drew a whale with a rather large shaft - which, I’m assured, they tend to have. And contrary to the geniuses’ delighted ‘whale penis!’ shrieks, the answer to the pictorial is Moby Dick. (It’s really a wonder they manage to get their big lady panties on in the morning.)

Now, Pumpkins, I bet you are thinking that this embarrassment of bitches brings to mind the Icelandic Phallological Museum. Indeed. The venerable institution proudly proclaims to contain a collection of 280 penises and penile parts – many of which had at one time belonged to whales. Bad enough to showcase pickled penises (unless it’s your philandering ex’s), but penis parts, Pumpkins? Something to ponder when selling clients on a dip in Iceland’s hot pits.

Hopefully those madcap Icelanders won’t decide to put splayed pudenda on display any time soon. One has to draw the bottom line somewhere, dahrlings.

(will not be published)