Well, dear Pumpkins, it’s another year come and gone like a snow flake on a warm bosom. None of us will be happier to see its backside more than I.
You couldn’t write a movie script to equal the 2016 story line. Maggot Billionaire Scammer & Hotel Developer Elected President. Carrie Fisher & Debbie Reynolds Die 1 Day Apart. Air Canada Makes A Profit. It’s all so incredibly unbelievable, dahrlings.
And through the turmoil, we Canadians remain stoically calm and … aack … nice.
I’ve seen folks left to rot at gates for hours only to be told they have to find a hotel at midnight. Do they revolt? Of course not. These maple crazed individuals politely shuffle along and do as they’re told. (Except one. And, honestly, the RCMP SWAT team did not need to be called. That scank of a ticket agent had it coming when she called me Madame.)
Point is, if you were the optimistic sort, dahrlings, you might say we’re … aack … lucky to be living in this forsaken icy tundra. Jewelry can be ordered online. My pharmacy has an app for emergency deliveries. And I have Jean-Marc’s private line on my speed dial in case I suddenly get the urge. To travel, obviously.
As we turn our sights on 2017, we know a few things for certain. China will roll over on the U.S.. Mossad agents will bag John Kerry. And Trudeau will finally inhale and start a commune with his mother.
You see? There’s always a silver lining.
To all my darhling Pumpkins, here’s to a happy, prosperous and fertile 2017!