Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

Reality Check

You know how it is when your BFF takes a soak in her Pinot and out spills "if it weren’t for that scank, Johnny would still be with me!”? Again. For the first few years, you wipe her snot and tut tut along. After a decade or two, you think, that lucky weasel.

Accepting reality isn’t everyone’s bag, dahrlings.

Which brings me to the internet. I was thrown the other day when I asked a couple of Pumpkins how business is. "It’s ok. But … you know…. ‘the internet’”. Ah yes, I say. The Internet. You mean the place where people can buy travel online? So unfair. Didn’t that happen like a few decades ago? Whatever. Someone should do something about it. Way too many w's. (Who decided that, anyway? "Just a random thought here, team. Let's have all the addresses start with 3 w's. Who's in?")

Anyhoo, if that's still your biggest beef, my little sleepwalker, you maybe should have taken the exit ramp back in 1996. Shoulder pads and 10% commissions are not coming back, dahrling, and -- unless there’s an inter-global web paralyzing solar electro stun storm -- it’s a safe bet the internet is not going away.

And Melissa, another augmentation isn’t going to bring Johnny jetting back home to roost. There isn’t enough silicone in the valley to make that happen.

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