Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

Dear Ann,

Dear Ann,

How are you? From the twitter storm you’ve unleashed, dahrling, I see you didn’t like your seat on a recent Delta flight. Bummer.

Especially since you paid the $30 to secure an exit row for those fabulous long gams of yours.

It’s a wonder you had the wherewithal to take a picture of the nasty passenger they put in your place. Well, you certainly put Delta in their place with those offensive tweets. You go girl.

What better way to leverage your smarts and celebrity status than to belittle airline staff?

You probably weighed that against other important causes to lay your considerable verbosity behind – like poverty, sub-par education in rural U.S., equal employment opportunity for minorities and women, to name a few.

The hours you dedicated to crushing bad service do you justice. Hear. Hear.

You have the entire U.S. news media at your beckon, honey. Teams of expert journalists have been dedicated to working out whither and why 15F, which you originally booked, was changed to 15D or 15A, and at what exact point you had changed to an aisle seat and what sequence the whole kerfuffle took. Whew. Talk about dedication to a cause.

Some might call you a blowhard, dahrling. A loud mouth windbag. A grandstanding narcissistic pinhead. Well, let them. Coming from a long line of Gabbalots, I share your assets. Let them experience the ignominy of sitting by a window while pining for an aisle.

Yours sincerely,


P.S. Just by the by, wondering about your not using a travel agent to secure your travel plans... And economy, dahrling? Really? Just sayin’.

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