Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

RIP Sears

Good lord, Pumpkins. Sears Travel - say it ain't over! That name used to be somebody. That contract meant something. Volume was yours. Size mattered.

For decades, Sears was synonymous with moving the needle. And training tomorrow's players. And windswept conferences where the red rug was bared for all in full curtain-matching glory. They were a rite of passage many remember and some prefer to forget.

This was not just some fly-by-retail synthetic shoe dumping discount store, dahrlings. You had a card. You shopped. You bought. Travel. Fridges. Passport pictures. This was middle Canada, people! And we bowed before it.

As news began filtering last week that the fairy tale was coming to an end, did anyone weep? The TravelBrands' licensing deal was over. We all knew it was only a matter of time...

Let's face it dahrlings, department store travel shops have gone the way of their bra fitters. I should know.

When Sears is the only store for miles and your 90-year-old teta who now weighs 250 pounds has grown a pair of catalogues that require specialized instrumentation, you grab the nearest quadruple D on the tangled rack and hope for the best. The scene in the fitting room is not pretty, Pumpkins. Hoisting teta's teats into a sizing guess is not for the feeble-hearted. Snaps and hooks and flesh flying every which way. Not to mention the screaming. (Mine, not hers)

That's how l feel about this reincarnation of Sears Travel. It's being branded TravelExperts.ca -- which is a fab name, don't get me wrong, dahrlings. But going from a salary to home -based commission could lead to some flesh flying around the industry as everyone scurries to find their fit. Snap daggit, Pumpkins, I miss the old days.

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