Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

Playing With Dolls

At 60, Barbie is over the hill, dahrlings. Actually, financial analysts say she's over a cliff. A plaything of the past. Well of course she's out of step! No woman looks like that. I told Mattel to give her bigger breasts and pump up those lips so she'd look more today. But nooooo.

Personally, I never did get the attraction of skinny blondes. She oughta hook up with the Travelocity gnome now that he's unemployed. He's a well-travelled woody with a pointy head, what's not to like?

It's always sad to see an institution go, isn't it, Pumpkins? Today's announcement that our very own Delta Hotels has sold to Marriott hit me hard. I wonder if they'll spin it off into one of those uber-cool-hipster-funkydown 'I'm loose & I know it' type of minimalist pads. Hyatt recently launched Centric. It's a lifestyle brand, dahrlings. They've also got Andaz, which provides an indigenous experience. I have no idea what that means. And luxury Sixty Hotels apparently injects a flair for hospitality. I wonder if that's all they're injecting.

I guess it’s too late for a Barbie hotel. Despite her before-its-time Brazilian, she’s just not a gentrified urban girl. Where is that gnome?

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