Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

Only in Canada, you say?

I’m feeling very protectionist, these days, Pumpkins. Patriotic, even. And it’s so not like me to wave a flag, dahrlings. In fact, they used to call me Ivanna without Borders. Or was it bloomers? 

Anyhoo, Trump thinks he can just slap his levy on our beaver pelts and steel girders and we’ll lap it up. Well I’m not taking it lying down, dahrlings. The man makes me want to douche tout de suite. That’s Frenchie to you, Donald!

Point is, with so many maniacs south of the border, I feel compelled to protect ours. Too many Americans are seeping in through the cracks, dahrlings, pretending to speak like us, taking our young.

It’s even happening in travel! Back in the day, the biz had to contend with the Brits. They didn’t smell so good but at least they knew how to spell. Now, it’s the yanks infiltrating our media, our trade shows and buying up our retailers!

If we’re not careful, we’ll be reading Canadian Traveller with one “L”! Watching interviews with Air Canada’s Duncan Desk! Clicking on Transat ads with stripes added to the star! It won’t end, my Yankee poodles.

We stand at a crossroads, Pumpkins They have guns. We have the CBC. It’s not a fair fight, dahrlings, but we burnt down their White House once and by golly, we can beat them at croquet.

P.S. Before I sign off I'd like to share some of my deeper midnight musings. Things like, if a tree falls in a forest, does it make a sound? And how many readers does one need to make a choice? You know, one hand clapping and all that. 

Ivanna Gabbalot

Ivanna Gabbalot Columnist

Part legend, part myth, all woman: Ivanna Gabbalot is OJ’s gossip columnist and considers herself the industry’s conscience. Equally annoying to Open Jaw management and inflated egos in C-suites everywhere, Ivanna touches topics others fear to tackle.

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