Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

Is There Anyone Not Wanting To Buy Transat?

As many of you know, I have been on an extended sabbatical in India, dahrlings. My guru, as I call him, (he really is the best plastic surgeon ever!), has had his hands full of superfluous skin hanging from my chin, my neck, my arms ... They call it a total body stretch. 

It’s mahvellous, Pumpkins! You can bounce loonies off my fuselage. (They say I’ll eventually be able to walk and talk again.)

Anyhoo, what in the name of corporate takeovers is going on over in Canada?

The lineup of semi-suitors for Transat is longer than when my Babcia put my virginity up for auction. (They didn’t call it that - but what else is a white dress at a ‘coming out’ party?) And Peladeau reminds me of the geeky nephews put forward by every stale old biddy from the old country.

Looking down from Mars, it’s like a bunch of circus clowns in little red cars chasing after an elephant. 

Give it up people! Air Canada called it. Schwartz had his chance and blew it. God knows what those Groupe Mach monsieurs want with an airline. And Air France has enough troubles keeping themselves up in the air.

Transat vehemently denies having had any conversations with these paramours. But you know how it goes when he doth protest too much.

Though I am inclined to believe them, dahrlings. Why date the the Chevy when there’s a Benz with stain resistant leather seats ready to pick you up?

The ACV/TS combo gives 60% of the southern capacity to one player. Some would call that a monopoly, but what do I know. My brain feels like it’s been saran-wrapped.

We will sit and wait for the mighty Gods at the Competition Bureau to proclaim their judgment.

Have to leave it there, dahrlings. They’re going to drop me in the Ghee bath (more like a vat) to try and loosen me up.

Ivanna Gabbalot

Ivanna Gabbalot Columnist

Part legend, part myth, all woman: Ivanna Gabbalot is OJ’s gossip columnist and considers herself the industry’s conscience. Equally annoying to Open Jaw management and inflated egos in C-suites everywhere, Ivanna touches topics others fear to tackle.

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