Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

Have You Been Pre-Approved?

As we all know, the CTC has been working their beavers to the bone trying to get anyone – really, anyone? - to come to Canada. (As recently noted by an Open Jaw dinkette visiting Glasgow, the slow inbound traffic could have something to do with the grizzlies on all the Visit Canada brochures.)

Anyhoo, Pumpkins, the hyper paranoiac Harperites are giving Canadian tourism a kick in the ol' moose antler they'll never recover from. It's called the electronic authorization authority or ETA project. (which is really short for Exclude Travellers from Abroad). Here is the explanation: Travellers heading to Canada will soon no longer be able to enter the country at an airport without prior approval. From March 15 2016, every visitor will be required to obtain an electronic travel authorization.

And they have to pay $7 for the privilege of being scrutinized.

Is it just me, dahrlings, or does that sound a bit unwelcoming? At Rendez-Vous Canada, The Honourable Chris Alexander, Minister of Citizenship and Immigration Canada, said the initiative will help “boost tourism". Does someone boost your brain when you enter politics?

In another footnote, today's Globe claims that “Canada will start gathering biometric information from all foreign travellers entering on a visa and arriving at this country's biggest airports. This will cover the majority of foreign arrivals."

I had neighbours like that once. They kept inviting me for Pimm's & patty-cakes but every time I rang the bell no one came to the door. Well! I can take a hint. After about 20 times, I stopped trying.

The moral of the sad tale is that in order to safeguard our borders, dahrlings, we'll be pre-approving and fingerprinting and scanning anyone brave enough to still want to come here, even though tests show that security screeners fail to catch 95% of fake bombs.

If I were WestJet, I'd tuck that Tartan Tail between my legs and head back to Calgary. I can tell you from experience, Scotsmen don't take kindly to being scrutinized.

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