Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

It’s Unfathomable

We in travel will leave no stone unturned if there's money hidden in the grime, dahrlings. The last frontier – altruism – is primed and pumped for dispensing cash.

The new fathom cruise ship is being touted as a 'social impact journey'. Oh-puhlease. When a multi-national like Carnival Corp., with almost 4 billion in earnings last quarter, turns their sites on selling human generosity – you know you're looking at a shareholder impact journey.

Now, if you're wondering if there's something oxymoronic about profit and altruism – don't give it another thought, dahrlings. Carnival Corp. will package it in such a way your clients will be asking for fries with their do-gooding.

Goodness knows, I have nothing against making money, Pumpkins. But I'm not sure I want to sail with a boatload of people who consider themselves above regular cruising while they discuss the cacao planting ladies they met that afternoon over a nicely chilled glass of Chablis. I might choke on the back-patting.

The point is, saving the world is all well and good, dahrlings, but the anti-hedonism movement is starting to cramp my narcissistic travel style. It may be hard to fathom, but I like my champagne guilt-free.

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