Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

Cruising Trumps Canoeing

Most cruise ship stewards you just want to pack up and take home. Am I right, Pumpkins? Is it the ones who’ve been below deck too long who succumb to predatory urges? How exactly do they think they’ll get away with attacking a female pax? [took me a while to figure out that’s what a sexual battery is – cause in my house it has a whole other meaning]

Do they think they can hide in the laundry bag til the ship docks? They obviously don’t hire them for their good judgment.

In other disastrous news, Canadians are staycationing. It’s bad enough for business, dahrlings, but why do Canuckers feel compelled to get you to join them at some bug-filled country rat hole next to a weed filled frigid muck-lake. “Wow! I’d love to come to your cottage but I’m having my vagina resurfaced.” That shuts them up.

Maybe when they design canoes with balconies I’ll think about it.


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