Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

Itchy Business

Two major airlines have refused to let passengers board over concerns about rashes.

Holy bushwhack, Batman! You can’t board a flight cause of a rash? What’s next? Dandruff? Halitosis? In my experience, half the plane would be denied boarding.

Honestly, Pumpkins. A rash can happen to anyone. Especially if you’re the active type. Some outdoor rock mounting once lead to such a bad case of poison oak around my sapling that a rash wouldn’t begin to describe it. More like Vesuvius erupting over the Grand Canyon. Talk about your tender loin.

It’s all Trump’s fault, dahrlings. I scratch my head to think that someone whose face looks like rash sat on it, with nuts for brains and squirrel nest on his scalp – whose vitriol includes telling his rabid mob to shoot his opponent – is Presidential material to not just an army of gun-toting "burn the witch" hysterics, but some actual sentient beings.

He’s kicking up so much fear, we’ll be glad for the good old days when some fluid and an itch was all that kept you from boarding.

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