Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

Why can’t they say what they mean?

Thank God for Google, pumpkins. One of the ditzy dinkettes called me in a panic yesterday, saying she had received a press release but simply could not understand what it meant. Clearly she was fearing early onset cognitive dementia, and I admit it was my 1st thought -- and not for the 1st time.

Send it along, I said, confident my still-snappy synapses could beat any PR bafflegab into submission. So she did. And I read it, all 1,542 words of it. I blinked. I shook my head. I read it again. Nothing. I topped up my pink gin fizz. Read it again. Nada.

Had they run the thing through the double dutch translator and selected the wrong options?

The headline read: “Trust Together: Air France-KLM regains the offensive with a new strategic project.” The press release opened with a quote, from AF-KL CEO Jean-Marc Janaillac:

"With Trust Together, Air France-KLM regains the offensive with a project which is both ambitious and realistic. It will enable us to capture our share of air transport industry growth by improving the competitiveness of our businesses. With our nine strategic priorities, we shall be fighting back on every front. Our strength lies in the fact that we are challengers. The status quo is not an option. We must launch a new dynamic to return to a leadership position in our markets." 

For a moment there, I thought Monsieur Janaillac was doing a Melania, except cribbing from Churchill instead of Michelle Obama: “We shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air…”

But I still didn’t have any idea what AF-KL is doing that has inspired such grandiose rhetoric. That’s when I turned to Google, typed in ‘Air France-KLM’ and hit the ‘News’ tab. There was the real story, in all its glory:

Air France-KLM Plans a Budget Airline to Fight Costs

Holy obfuscation dahrlings! I did not see that coming. If you want to walk a weary mile in my pumps, you can read the press release here.

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