Excuse me, dahrlings, but...
High Maintenance Doesn’t Come Cheap
I remember fondly as the late Mr. Gabbalot The 3rd would come home saying “Dahrling! We made absolute gobs of money!” … and before I could bolt down the street in search of a new Birkin, he’d ad “but we just don’t have it.” In fact, it turned out I’d have to hock my last one on eBay just to pay for the cars.

Ivanna Gabbalot
14May15

Excuse me, dahrlings, but...
Gadgets As Fashion?
Is it just me, dahrlings? I never thought I’d say that, much less think it, but is fashion going too far? I strapped on my computer the other day, and frankly Pumpkins, it’s not me.

Ivanna Gabbalot
11May15

Excuse me, dahrlings, but...
What A Special Day!
WooHoo! It’s Ivanna Gabbalot Day!! I knew it! I knew the day would come! You wait your whole life for something like this.

Ivanna Gabbalot
06May15

Excuse me, dahrlings, but...
Only In Canada, You Say?
I hereby award the 2015 Open Jaw Insert Foot Award to British Airways. They so desperately want to appeal to us Canucks, dahrlings, they are wielding anti-American sentiment like a case of 2-4.

Ivanna Gabbalot
01May15

Excuse me, dahrlings, but...
They’ve Got A Thing For Us
Don’t you just love being chased, Pumpkins? It’s been a while … but I recognize the signs. That look of longing … the slurred speech … and, just before the lights go on, the fumble for a cheap flight…

Ivanna Gabbalot
28Apr15

Excuse me, dahrlings, but...
We Must Be Doing Something Good
Don't you love that scene in the Sound of Music, Pumpkins, where Maria Poppins sings to a hunky duke that she “must have done something good" for him to want her? It's enough

Ivanna Gabbalot
21Apr15

Excuse me, dahrlings, but...
Looking For Air Love
The travel personals ad reads like this, dahrlings: Tour Op Seeks Airline Single young tour op with an urgent need to mate. I love long flights across the U.S., counting margins in the moonlight and the quiet anxiety that grips my groin between bookings. I have a great sense of humour and enjoy Mozart...

Ivanna Gabbalot
17Apr15

Excuse me, dahrlings, but...
You Give Me Fever
Pasty white Torontonians are emerging from condos all over the city – squinting at the light and shuffling in a winter lobotomized daze.

Ivanna Gabbalot
15Apr15

Excuse me, dahrlings, but...
Drinking, Smoking And Now Groping?
It's absolute bedlam aboard aircraft, Pumpkins! Reports of wild drunken behaviour are coming in faster than a 747. And I'm not even talking about the flights I'm on.

Ivanna Gabbalot
09Apr15

Excuse me, dahrlings, but...
Let Them Eat Cake
That dahrling Senator Ruth is so right to be absolutely outraged, Pumpkins. Frankly, I’m aghast. That we taxpayers expect a sitting senator to settle for “ice cold camembert” for breakfast on an airplane is … well … goodness. Is there no decency?

Ivanna Gabbalot
02Apr15

Excuse me, dahrlings, but...
X-Nay On The C-Word, Kay?
We are in travel, dahlrings. We don’t use the C-word in print or in thought. It’s so ingrained, that even if it means screwing ourselves up into a pompous pretzel in front of news cameras -- it is utterly verboten to utter the unutterable.

Ivanna Gabbalot
30Mar15

Excuse me, dahrlings, but...
Pass The Pot
The airline business is littered with tales of woe – as we all know – but none I would qualify quite so pathetic as Jetlines’ attempt to fly. The entry requirement for launching a new airline used to call for tall tales of chest thumping money raising with fat backers.

Ivanna Gabbalot
24Mar15

Excuse me, dahrlings, but...
Performance Issues
Apparently we don't perform, Pumpkins. Now that's an insult I don't take lying down. My performance - whether standing up, kneeling, or that inverted hanging French horn tableau - is legendary!

Ivanna Gabbalot
18Mar15

Excuse me, dahrlings, but...
Are We Dense?
Honestly, Pumpkins, I'm getting rather tired of all the accusations of the industry being dim-witted. Transat is going on and on about being dense. The Huffington Post's article about robots being better than agents has fingers pointing at what a dumb ass job we've done explaining what we do.

Ivanna Gabbalot
16Mar15

Excuse me, dahrlings, but...
I'll Sit This One Out
A darling Pumpkin recently wrote: “Ivanna is strangely silent on AC's latest move to zero commission on Tango Fares. I was hoping to see a rant from her!” And of course she is right. I ...

Ivanna Gabbalot
09Mar15

Excuse me, dahrlings, but...
What Is The Value Of A Willy?
Today’s business cartoon series, Dilbert, depicts the secretary with a pair of scissors aiming to separate a higher salaried male from his man parts. He explains that his penis simply gives him ...

Ivanna Gabbalot
06Mar15

Excuse me, dahrlings, but...
Just Shoot Me
It’s all the rage these days, Pumpkins. If you don’t like someone, pull a Putin and shoot’im. It’s so much more efficient than ‘sharing’. Goodness knows I’ve...

Ivanna Gabbalot
03Mar15

Excuse me, dahrlings, but...
I Feel So Secure
I’m pretty sure Harper plans on taking over the tampon industry, Pumpkins. He keeps harping about security and, as we all know from commercials, there’s nothing more important to women tha...

Ivanna Gabbalot
25Feb15

Excuse me, dahrlings, but...
I Wouldn't Spar With Qatar
The CEO of Qatar Airways calls it like he sees it, Pumpkins. When asked on CNN about Gulf carriers restricting flight attendants’ weight he said “That is a load of bullshit.” Intere...

Ivanna Gabbalot
19Feb15

Excuse me, dahrlings, but...
Feel The Love...
Ah, Valentine’s Day. The day we all get our smooch on. Personally, I call it pucker day. And if I don’t get my smooch on, dahrlings, I call it something else. Rhymes with pucker. Travel ...

Ivanna Gabbalot
11Feb15