'Twas the night before Christmas, and down by the gate
Not an aircraft was moving, they were all running late: The boards were all flashing departure delays, All from the snow that had fallen for days.
Both Boeing and Airbus just sat on the ground While thousands of passengers all looked around In the hopes that the weather would cut them a break Or at least that their airline would spring for a steak.
The folks from Air Canada stepped up to the mike With a look of bad news that no one would like "It appears we have cancelled all flights ‘til tomorrow And adding to the frustration and sorrow… We're stuck in the hold room until further notice As CATSA's gone home and locked the gates for us.”
As they all milled around with their wishes and whims A voice from the back cried "they've opened up Tim's" And amidst the rushing to pick up a fresh java There arose from the corner one helluva clatter
A Weight Watchers refugee decked out in red With a massive white beard that just sprung from his head Stood up on the counter by B-43 And announced to the crowd, "Just listen to me!"
"Though it seems to you all that you're stuck for the night (And airlines again can't get anything right) I've a plan in my bag if we all work together That should see us cut loose from this God-awful weather."
On the tarmac appeared a vision from heaven A ready to board Boeing 747 And attached to the nose wheel were 8 massive beasts Who seemed anxious to fly out in search of some heat.
"We need to get moving - we'll be boarding by row And leave the hand luggage - it ain't gonna go. In the spirit of Christmas as additional treats You'll notice on board there are no middle seats!"
As I entered the aircraft and plunked down my ass I noticed the seating was all business class With pillows and blankets and comfy leg rests I thought to myself, 'this bird's passed the test.’
From up on the flight deck things started to happen Not a sound from the engines but the wings started flappin’ "Now Dasher, now Dancer, now Prancer and Vixen" I began to regret all those drinks I'd been mixin’.
In an instant we'd climbed well above all the clouds And the crew started meal service appeasing the crowds Fresh lobster and filet and fine vintage wine We'd managed to do it - we'd gone back in time. To an era when travel was anticipated As opposed to today where it seems constipated.
As I reclined back my seat for a bit of a snooze While the rest of the passengers enjoyed the free booze I wondered why all flights could not be this fine When I heard a name called and it sounded like mine.
"Will the very last passenger please go to the gate We've paged you 4 times and you're now very late!" As I struggled to wake, I became more aware That I'd fallen asleep in a departure lounge chair.
Heading to board through the passenger portals Just one of a thousand other mere mortals Who'd have to contend with a journey tonight, Merry Christmas to all and to all a good flight.
Dave Heron is the owner of Pace Setter Travel & Tours in Okotoks Alberta who loves to travel, but will be staying home this Christmas season.